Today marks the celebration of three years of marriage. And I do mean celebration. As many of you know or have experienced, marriage “isn’t always easy,” or “takes a lot of work.” While I agree that it isn’t always a walk in the park, I also think that when you have chosen an amazing partner, it isn’t as hard as some might think.
James and I got married only a few months after my 22nd birthday. I’ll give you a second to recover. Yes, I realize that might seems extremely young to many of you reading. And the truth is that we were and are still very young. But with the hesitation that comes with marriage and starting a family before 30, I wanted to share a few reasons why I am so thankful that I was able to start this journey earlier in life. So many of us run from commitment and responsibility due to the fear of it paralyzing our freedom. But the honest truth is that I have never felt more free in the boundary that is marriage. Today I am sharing 3 real reasons why I am so thankful that I got married young.
1. We Have Grown Together
As time passes, we become more and more comfortable with our way of life, daily choices, personality quirks, values, and beliefs. It is no secret that with age comes a firmer sense of self. While self awareness is a wonderful thing, this can often be an issue when persons come together at a later stage in life. They may be less willing to make sacrifices or change old habits because of the comfortability of there current lifestyle.
I have changed so much as a person in the last few years of marriage. If James had met me at this point in my life, I would have completely different interests than I did several years back. But I think the reason we have been so happy during these few short years is that we have allowed one another the freedom to grow. We have not confined one another to the people we were when we started dating. We have evolved and changed in many ways. By giving each other a sense of freedom to change and grow, we have learned to love the person that the other is becoming. People will change. And we should. Our goal in life is to continue to strive to be a better version of ourselves. So why would we want to restrain our partner from becoming that simply because it doesn’t fit the description of “who they once were.”
2. We Dare to Dream
During the typical “trust fall” activity that is often used as an ice breaker, you fall hesitantly into the arms of the person behind you hoping they catch you from a terrible fall. Marriage is kind of like that security blanket that is always there ready to catch you and support you if you fall. Many people feel the sense to travel, explore, and do everything they ever want to do under the sun before they step onto the marriage or children train. Since being marriage, I have pursued my dreams harder, explored and adventured often, and learned to believe in myself better than ever before. I have accomplished and done more with him as my partner, standing and supporting me than I would without him.
3. We Make Mistakes
There are days when I feel like we are kids playing house. When adult issues such as taxes, hospital bills, credit card debt, and health insurance come up, it can be a little overwhelming figuring out how to handle every situation correctly. We have learned to forgive ourselves for the times when we make mistakes. We have forgotten to file W2s and neglected to pay bills on time. But we realize that we are young and are learning how to play this game of life. There are times when we just have to look at each other and say, “we are still learning.” And we will continue to learn more about each other and life every single day. But having a flexible attitude of love and understanding will make those tough situations a little easier. Giving each other the freedom to make mistakes and grow from them is key in making your marriage a successful one.
We have a long way to go and a lot to learn. I know we do not have it all figured out, and I don’t think we ever will. Do any of us truly hold all of the answers? Young marriage has allowed me to become a better version of myself. Maybe it isn’t in your path to get married young. And that is okay too. The point is to be open to the plan that has been written for your life. Do not be paralyzed by fear. There is so much freedom in commitment.
Thanks for reading.